"As I understand it, there are 40 gazillion great singers, but only 6 record deals...."

That should be branded on the forehead of every wannabe folkie in the universe, in reverse, so he or she can read it in the mirror every time they look there, which is much too often.

Maybe this quote should go in the religion thread...but anyways, I was watching "Lie To Me" yesterday (great show!) and thought this conversation between 2 of the characters was pretty interesting and kinda amusing:

Loker: Do you really believe there's an invisible man in the clouds who'll make your problems go away if you fold your hands and wish to him?
Foster: What, because I'm a scientist I can't believe in God?
Loker: No, it's just the last time I checked talking to invisible people was called "schizophrenia".

"Those who have an elementary school knowledge of an advanced subject should not be distressed if those who have an advanced knowledge of it talk above their heads sometimes." - Einstein

"This morning Daddy said 'I am a Mugwump, and Mugwumps are pure from the marrow out.'
He knows I'm writing this biography, so he says those things for it."

-- Suzy Clemens (in her biography of Mark Twain)

"If I want your opinion I will give it to you"

"Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day. Give him a religion and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish."
--unknown

"You know God is man-made when He hates the same people you do."

--unknown

"There are no atheists in foxholes."

"I once prayed to God for a bike, but quickly found out He didn't work that way...so I stole a bike and prayed for His forgiveness."

--unknown

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I thought this was really funny. It was written on an actual Church sign:

"Today's sermon: Jesus Walks on Water. Tomorrow's sermon: Searching for Jesus"

"Knowledge is realizing the street is one-way. Wisdom is looking in both directions anyway"

"The crookedness of her legs was beyond all comparison, and as to her gait it was that of a blind camel walking diagonally across innumerable deep ditches. Altogether she looked like the crude result of Nature's first experiment in equifacation."-
ambrose bierce

"The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus by the Supreme Being in the womb of a virgin, will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter."
~Thomas Jefferson

"The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself."
~Richard Francis Burton