"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship,
design a building, write a sonnett, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying,
take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure,
program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly.
Specialization is for insects." -- Robert A. Heinlein, The Notebooks of Lazarus Long

"Every passing hour brings the Solar System forty-three thousand miles closer to Globular Cluster M13 in Hercules — and still there are some misfits who insist that there is no such thing as progress." (Kurt Vonnegut, The Sirens of Titan)

"It is an illusion that youth is happy, an illusion of those who have lost it; but the young know they are wretched, for they are full of the truthless ideals which have been instilled into them, and each time they come in contact with the real they are bruised and wounded. "
Of Human Bondage by W.Somerset Maugham

"Art is only a means to life, to the life more abundant. It is not in itself the life more abundant. It merely points the way, something which is overlooked not only by the public, but very often by the artist himself. In becoming an end it defeats itself." -- Henry Miller

"Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it." (Sir Alfred Hitchcock)

Television....

(1) I find TV very educational; whenever anyone turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book." - Groucho Marx

(2) "Television is the only medium in which one million people can laugh at the same joke at the same time, but still be lonely." - Fred Allen

(3) "Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight?" - Al Boliska

(4) "TV - chewing gum for the eyes." - Frank Lloyd Wright

"Making love to her was as sweet as sucking marrow from a bone."
-- Alexander Solzhenitsyn

"I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!"

-Patrick Henry

"You could get ten years in Levenworth, or 'leven years in twelveworth."
-- Chico Marx

"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere."
"A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. "
"A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running."
"A man's only as old as the woman he feels."
"A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke."
"Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse."
"All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats."
"Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot."
"Before I speak, I have something important to say."
"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it." -- Groucho Marx

Groucho: "Allow me to introduce myself--I'm Professor Wagstaff from Huxley College."
Chico: "That means nothing to me."
Grocuho: "Well, it doesn't mean that much to me either. how about Professor Huxley from Wagstaff College?"

"In the year 1869, Mr. Fish [in Gardener's Chronicle, April 17, 1869] rejected my conclusions with respect to the part which worms have played in the formation of vegetable mould, merely on account of their assumed incapacity to do much work. He remarks that "considering their weakness and their size, the work they are represented to have accomplished is stupendous." Here we have an instance of that inability to sum up the effects of a continually recurring cause, which has often retarded the progress of science, ..."

-- Charles Darwin

*uh-oh. I might have killed this thread*

"Tell her, when your eye fell out your dong got big"

Something like that anyway.